How to fight depression for work-from-home moms
It’s not unusual for any work-at-home mom to struggle with loneliness or even depression. I know I do from time to time.
Before I move on, I want you to understand that if you are going through depression, you need to seek the help of a professional for that. But this also applies to the common pangs of loneliness and sadness anyone of us may go through, like when we miss our friends or when we miss our youth. You know what I mean?
But anyway, now that I’ve mentioned it, mine’s partly triggered by my biological clock (I’m almost 40, yey!) and partly because I seldom get to go out of the house since I decided to change careers eight years ago. Partying is not really a problem, as I am relieved to have confirmed that I am an introvert by nature who prefer the company of a few dear friends or a quiet dinner with the family over concerts and huge team building events.
Not that I’m against them as I do go when required, when people involved are important to me, or when I want to support my husband.
So, what do I do?
The problem with being sad is that it can sometimes be a comfortable place to be at. You feel so sorry for yourself that you just don’t feel like doing anything about it at all and let’s be honest, we sometimes act as if the world owes it to us to make us feel better.
Two things, though: You can do something about it and you have to do something about it.
That’s right, you, me….no one else can help us unless we willingly help ourselves out of it.
Anyway, here are 3 things I’ve been doing to combat depression:
1. I exercise
Exercise isn’t just for weight loss or toning your body. Exercise promotes overall wellness. Exercise releases endorphins, otherwise known as happy hormones.
Exercise is proven to be an effective anti-depressant. More effective than prescribed meds, according to the article I read.
My hubby and I take the kids to run at Track 30 in BGC at least twice a week, but last week, he took the kids to ride their scooters at Bonifacio High Street and let me run by myself. I really enjoyed it!
I loved that I was alone, enjoying the beautiful city, I didn’t even notice how many rounds I’ve made around the track. All I knew was that the evening sky was beautiful and it was very peaceful. I think I got my sanity back that night.
When we can’t go to Track 30, I push myself to do some dance exercises here at home. I also have a list of routines that I follow when I’m not in the mood to dance.
The routine usually involves squats, jumping jacks, lunges, and yes, a few burpees and planks.
When I’m not in the mood for those, I just take every chance I get to walk, walk, walk. I’ve always been a walker. I can walk distances, like from Makati to Baclaran distances (5.3 kilometers). I think I maintained my light weight back then because of all the walks I would do everyday from work from Festival Mall in Alabang to our village behind SM Southmall (4.9 kilometers).
2. I read my bible
Every afternoon, at 4pm, after work (I’m required to log in for my work at 7am-3pm) and before I start home schooling my kids, I would go to our yard where I have set up a table. I would get myself a cup of coffee, tea, or calamansi juice and read my bible.
I also keep a notebook where I write my prayers. I wrote about this before, this is the practice I taught my 9-year old son, and will teach my other kids, as well.
There’s just something about writing down my prayers that keeps me focused.
I use this time to reflect on God’s word and meditate on his promises. And when I’m feeling confused, emotional, stressed or anxious, the bible helps me find direction and peace.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” Philippians 4:8.
Sometimes, I also read other books in my favorite spot. I’m currently alternating with WikiChurch by Steve Murrell and God Knows My Name: Never Forgotten, Forever Loved by Beth Redman. Such encouraging, empowering books, I tell you!
I love seeing birds perch on the wall or the leaves sway to the breeze. Yes, seriously. I must really be getting old, haha!
3. I drink more water
It might surprise you that drinking more water helps fight depression. How? Well, a lot of us don’t notice that we don’t drink enough water because we’ve been drinking other types of beverages such as coffee and tea, juices or soda. This causes dehydration and dehydration causes anxiety and nervousness.
Both can lead to depression. And just in case you’re not aware, caffeine in itself already causes anxiety.
So there! I’ve been drinking more water now and have replaced coffee with calamansi juice, although I didn’t get here if not for our annual checkup when the doctor advised me to drink more to clear me of UTI. But all’s good because when I googled it, I realised that there’s more to water than just cleaning my kidneys.
Get off Facebook!
There are other things that you can do to fight depression, like catching up with friends, crying out your frustrations to confidantes, take on a hobby like painting, as one of my fellow WAHMs suggested, or you can get off your laptop, especially Facebook.
When you haven’t been out of the house for so long, even your friends’ happy posts may make you feel resentful and be negative about your life.
Most of the time for me, it’s just a matter of spending more quality time with my husband and kids, like in things as simple as enjoying dinner with them at the table and listening to my kids talk at the same time, haha!
Or my husband holding my hand as he tells me about his day.
No devices, no TV.
You see, when we invest more of ourselves into our work and very little of our time with our family, it will make us feel ill-equipped and incompetent towards them. It eats us up and makes us feel guilty. Eventually, it gets to us and we feel depressed. After all, for most of us, aren’t they the reason why we chose to work from home?
The solution is to allot time for work and purposely have time for family.
Yesterday, me and my 4-year old were left at home and I spent a lot of time playing blocks with him and talking to him, reading a few books, tickling him and laughing with him. Everything was alright in my world.
What about you? What do you do to keep depression from mastering you?
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” John 16:33.
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Want to check out the book I’m currently reading? Click on this:
36 Comments
Millie
Hi May, I think you already know my answer, which is talking to YOU or doing Yoga exercises. But, most of the time, I clean the house or do the laundry.
I miss you, and I love this post. 🙂
May De Jesus-Palacpac
I miss you too, Millie. I hope you’re feeling better now. I read that you’ve been sick. 🙁
ceemee
I also experience depression as a stay-at-home-mom, whenever I crave for adult conversations. I really must try to allot a certain time each day for reading God’s Word.
May De Jesus-Palacpac
It really helps, Ceemee. Devotionals are great help, as well. There are also some bible reading plans online that you can use. We can get really overwhelmed by our responsibilities and our work load that we need something to refresh us and put us back on track. 🙂
Mike
Hi, a really nice article! You can check my blog if you feel like, it’s about my copig with depression http://whatdepressionfeelslike.com/ Mike
May De Jesus-Palacpac
Hi Mike! Normally, I would delete comments that promote their links in my site, but I decided to keep yours as it contains some pretty interesting books that may be helpful to those who are going through depression.
Cheers!
Mike
Thank you.
maricel
I’d like to read that book by Beth Redman..ako kahit working 8 hours a day, meron din..your list is helpful esp no. 2. 🙂
May De Jesus-Palacpac
Oh Maricel, it’s a really, really great book. You’ll feel so loved and comforted, at the same time, it helps you correct your mindset about how you see yourself.
Kat | Petite Momma
Napainom ako bigla ng water after reading this!! LOL! 😀 I dunno but in the past few months I’ve felt melancholia. Probably because I can’t get out of the house much often due to my sensitive pregnancy, or maybe it’s just the hormones? 🙂 I do agree with your tips specially getting offline and no devices. Just cuddling with the family beats those gloomy days.
May De Jesus-Palacpac
Most probably pregnancy hormones, mommy Kat. 🙂 But water may help, too. And you need try to get some sunshine, if you can at least spend some time in your yard whereyou can see sky and all that. 🙂
Michi
I wish I can push myself to run or even walk, pero naiisip ko pa lang ang mga dogs na pd ko masalubong, wag na lang. hehehe! I prefer to stay offline when I’m not feeling good too.
May De Jesus-Palacpac
haha. yeah, it really helps to get off the web. nakakaburo din pag sobra.
dianne
Love the I read my BIBLE one.. That’s i think one of the best thing to do when we are depressed. Thank you for the hint of having a WAHM depression. I might come across this soon! Now I know what to do hehe
Sherlane
Thanks for the tips. I’m working from home and yeah, sometimes i feel kidda lonely working alone in the house. Will start with the exercise :-).
May De Jesus-Palacpac
A good run covers a lot! 🙂
Ayi
I feel the same way. My husband is asking what’s wrong with me and I don’t know. I just get emotional, cry a little then brush off any issues. So I resort to exercise and baking! Not a good combo but it makes me happy :))
May De Jesus-Palacpac
Baking is therapeutic! I miss baking.
SJ Valdez
I also experience being lonely from time to time. I seldom go out because my hands are tied although I’m also an introvert like you kaya okay lang. I also prefer spending time with my family and close friends. Reading “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne helps me to continuously stay positive. Crafting and praying also keep me sane.
May De Jesus-Palacpac
yeah having a hobby helps. I used to keep myself busy preparing my kids home school materials and lessons. 🙂
Kat Rodriguez
I’m trying my best to increase my water intake, sometimes, it’s just too tempting to drink soda, specially when we have ice cold one in the fridge, but I try to drink water again after I finished my soda, I don’t know if it helps, lol.
May De Jesus-Palacpac
someone told me that if you’re drinking coffee or soda, you must double your water intake because coffee and soda cause dehydration.
Kaity Bato
Very timely!(: sometimes I feel so sad and down too… But this is my choice, to work at home. Everything that you suggested works for me! I need to try pa the “water therapy” part haha!(: I seldom drink water.
May De Jesus-Palacpac
Hi Kaity! Here are hugs from me. 🙂
Maan
This post is a gem, May! I don’t think a lot of people know just how lonely it gets when you’re a WAHM or a SAHM. If I might add, it also helps immensely to be involved in the community. That’s what I’m doing now!
May De Jesus-Palacpac
Yes, that’s true. The idea of getting involved in our village association isn’t very appealing to me at the moment, haha. But I do try to remain active in our ministry. 🙂
Mommy Anna
Me as a working mom sometimes I feel same as yours, kasama ata sa hormones yun ng mga girls :-). When I feel down I pray, read a book and have some coffee and find me time as in ako lang 🙂
May De Jesus-Palacpac
Maraming factors, Mommy Anna. Hormones is one, circumstances is another, then diet, too, has something to do with it. So it’s both external and physiological. 🙂
rina
great list! and they’re the sort of things that are actually always on my mental list of good intentions, but somehow never get around to really doing as a matter of habit. thanks for the reminder. it’s awful how it’s sooo easy to slip into bad habits like aimless Facebook scrolling, etc! (although I can’t give up the coffee. no, just no, he he)
and if I may add (although I also don’t get to do this often), I think it really helps if you make time for your creative outlet, whatever your “craft” may be. it does wonders to one’s sense of self and sense of accomplishment, don’t you think? here’s to doing better, one day at a time!
May De Jesus-Palacpac
Haha, coffee was very hard to give up for me too, until recently. I dunnow why. I got sick with flu and started taking hot calamansi in place of my usual coffee cause coffee seemed to make me feel exhausted. Now that I’m well, I can’t seem to get myself to take coffee.
Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy
I get hit by this at times as well. When it does, I try to unplug for a while and do something productive for myself like design work. It also helps to clean and organize stuffs. I tend to find those therapeutic. Hehe.
Krisna
I have activated my Facebook account several weeks ago and my life has become so much calmer and stress-free! Hahaha! Kaya lang I need to activate it again for my raket eh, I just limit na lang my time for it or I log in na lang just to check my notifications.
Great tips to fight depression, sis! I totally agree with everything you’ve said here. 🙂
Celerhina Aubrey
Funny. But the longest vacation I had was nung maternity leave ko. Which is 2.5months. The first few weeks, I having a blast. After that I miss working. Dahil hindi ako sanay na nasa bahay lang lagi. I miss dressing up. I miss my make up. Tapos 2 weeks din before mag end ang maternity leave ayoko na naman pumasok. Hahahaha! Loka lokang tunay.
May Castillo
It is actually my dream to be home based. My rants and depression issues are about having an 8-5 job. I never thought that work-at-home moms also experience depression. Thanks for the list, Ms. May! These will surely help not only those wahms but also those office moms like me.
Mommy Levy
If I’m feeling blue, I eat chocolate and read magazines. I attend Bible study groups but to be honest it’s been a while since I read my own bible.
Mommy Mecheel
I love this Mommy May, actually when I’m down. I write, read the bible, go to the beach (you know it’s a 5minute walk away from home), deactivated my FB and eat chocolates. 🙂 And I’m up! 🙂